Through Hell and Back
by Yuki Shinzo
Summary: Coud Strife lives with a dark tragedy of his past that haunts him in his dreams. 5 years later, this past suddenly returns with a vengeance, but this time Cloud intends to fight it back with his own. Slightly AU. Cloti & Zerith
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello again! Look I'm writing another story already! I don't intend on letting this get in the way of writing LoV however, and I do plan on organizing how I upload future chapters for these stories. **

**But enough of my rambling, on with the disclaimer!**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not own FF7, or any of it's characters. All rights go to SQURE ENIX and Testuya Nomura. **

**Thanks a bunch and enjoy! :D**

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><p>The black night over Nibelheim was aglow with a crimson light. Fires were raging throughout the small town below, the town itself seeming stained red with the glow of the flames, and the crimson blood of the innocent spilt amongst it's streets and homes. Inside the village and among it's back alleys, scrambled one blonde teenage boy, seemingly the only person alive amongst the chaos.<p>

16 year old Cloud Strife ran through the alleys, doing his best to avoid the hot flames that licked the buildings around him. He searched desperately amongst the few houses that had yet to burn, hoping to find his mother alive somewhere inside them. He cried out for her as he burst open the door to each house, to find no one inside. He also called for his childhood friend, Tifa Lockhart, again, hoping that he might find her somewhere in the village, and alive. He eventually made his way to the small town square, coughing and gasping for air, after breathing in all the ash and smoke billowing around him. He then noticed a lone figure standing in the center of the square. He recognized the figure as Tifa's father, and was about to call out to him, hoping he would know where Tifa or his mother might be. Cloud stopped when Mr. Lockhart suddenly dropped the to the ground like a rag doll. He watched in horror as blood pooled underneath his body. It was then that he noticed the tall figure standing above the body. The man had long silver hair that flowed past his waist, and wore a long black trench coat, which flapped in the breeze that fanned the flames around them. The man watched Cloud with catlike green eyes that were fixed on him like a hungry panther eyeing his prey. A dark, evil smirk appeared on the man's face, and he slowly came towards Cloud, stepping over Mr. Lockhart's body as he crept closer.

Fear welled up inside of Cloud's body, as he saw a blood soaked knife in the man's gloved hand. He heard the man chuckle, the sound sending shivers down Cloud's spine.

"Well, well," the man chuckled darkly, "it seems that I've missed one."

Cloud took a step back, as the man continued to approach him.

"You might as well stay where you are boy; I'll make this as quick and as painless for you as possible."

The man slowly raised the knife, bringing it to his mouth and licking some of the dripping blood off of the knife. Cloud stood his ground, anger and hatred for the silver haired man rapidly boiling up inside him as a realization came to him. If this man had just killed one person, then he may very well be responsible for the destruction around them.

Cloud couldn't stand this thought, and he shouted, "Did you do all this?"

The man stopped when Cloud spoke to him. He didn't respond, instead he just continued to watch Cloud with those predatory eyes.

"Answer my question, you bastard! Did you do all of this?"

The man smirked again and replied, "Don't fret now...you'll be joining your loved ones soon enough.

That was when the man sprinted towards Cloud, the knife in his hand raised and ready to strike. Cloud tried to back out of the way, while desperately looking for something he could defend himself with. He tripped over a piece of rubble, falling on his back and leaving him totally defenseless. It was at this moment when time seemed to go into slow motion, and he watched as the silver haired psychopath came towards him with the already bloody knife. The image of Mr. Lockhart's dead body came to Cloud's mind, and his thoughts had turned to his daughter Tifa, and his mother.

Were they still alive somewhere?

Were they choking to death in the black smoke?

Were they burning alive in the red hot flames?

Were they already dead?

Did this murderer kill them too?

Had Cloud already failed them?

The haunting voices of Tifa and his mother began to echo through his mind.

Why didn't you help us Cloud?

Why couldn't you save us?

Why did you let us die?

Why did you let him kill us?

Why Cloud? Why?

Why, why, why, why, WHY?

Cloud heard the word ringing through his ears, as images of their blood soaked bodies invaded his mind. His heart was soon flooded with grief and despair, knowing that he had failed the people he loved and cared for. He felt the knife as it plunged into his chest, and soon his vision turned crimson with blood, then faded into an inky darkness.

So this was what it felt like to die.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, there's the prologue! Just to let you know, I don't plan on making any of the future chapters for this story so short.**

**I actually really enjoyed writing this out. This idea just sprouted in my head while I was writing LoV. Considering what the storyline's going to be, it's probably not going to be anything special compared to other FF7 fanfics that I've read. There were a lot of aspects of this story that I changed, one being that it was a little bit more...sadistic...and there was Yaoi. I have absolutely no problems with Yaoi. (I am a HUGE Yaoi fangirl! I get all giggly when I read really good stuff. XD) However, I figured that the story would seem a little less realistic if I left that aspect in there. **

**Wow, look at my big mouth go! But anyway, if any of you guys liked this story, please comment/fav/alert, whatever. And please let me know what you think, I really like getting you guys' opinion. **

**Thanks a bunch! :D**


	2. Chapter 1: Time to Cope

**A/N:** Oh my god, I'm finally back! XD Alright, now to those people who have actually bothered to keep up with this story, and LoV, I am SOO sorry for not updating earlier! NOw, I'll just lay out the disclaimer so you can get on with reading this.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own FF7 or any of it's characters. All rights got to **SQUARE ENIX **and Testuya Nomura.

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><p>Cloud shot up from his bed, hyperventilating as he struggled to recover from his nightmare. His eyes darted around the room, checking his surroundings to be sure of where he was. He was back in his bedroom where he should be, with the dim light of the early morning peeking in through his window, and his dresser across from his bed. He exhaled a long puff of air, and wiped the sweat that was now dripping from his forehead. He looked over at his bedside table to check his alarm clock. 5:35, a little bit of a late start; Cloud had to get over to the police station by 7:00, or he'd be late for his shift. He was more than happy to get out of bed after the dream, sleep was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want to give another opportunity for the memory to haunt him. It had already been doing that for five years.<p>

Cloud got out of his bed and looked down to notice that the sheets, as well as his body were covered in sweat, his pjs clinging uncomfortably to him like glue.

Whatever, nothing a cold shower couldn't fix.

Cloud walked into his small bathroom, and stripped out of his wet clothes. As he did, he couldn't help but look into his bathroom mirror, and see himself staring back at him. Cloud's skin was naturally pale, usually a soft peachy white, but this time it was sickly pale, and his eyes held a tired, anguished gaze that pierced him like a knife. He quickly looked away from the mirror, got into the shower and turned on the cold water. He never liked looking into mirrors, especially after his nightmares. His reflection always tended to look exhausted and drained, and just looking made him sick to his stomach. He stood under the water in his shower, letting all the sweat that accumulated during the night wash off him and down the drain. Cloud couldn't help but feel just a little let down-he hadn't had that dream for almost a year now, and Cloud had honestly hoped that it would have finally stopped haunting him for good.

_Just what I get for getting my hopes up._

Cloud turned off the water, opened the door and walked out of the shower, taking his towel along with him. He then walked back into his room to dry off, and looked at the time again, 5:55. He opened his dresser, and grabbed his typical work clothing, which consisted of a blue jacket over a green turtleneck, blue work pants, and a large leather belt across his waist. Once he was dressed he headed into his tiny kitchenette and made coffee, not bothering to grab anything to eat-he never had an appetite in the early morning. He checked the time again, it was 6:05 now.

Cloud was just about finished with his coffee when his cell-phone rang. He checked the caller id- Jessie in bold white letters. He flipped open the phone and answered.

"Yo."

"_Morning Cloud_!" came Jessie's cheery voice over the line. "_Ready to hit patrol today?_"

"Uh, yeah I guess." Cloud could never understand how Jessie was always so cheery in the morning. She was a nice woman really, and Cloud liked having her as a partner, but there were some things about her that he didn't think he'd get used to.

"Did you need something Jessie?"

"_Oh no, I was just calling to say hi! And I'm kinda bored, I need someone to talk to_."

"Are you at the station already?"

"_Yeah, I had to finish the report on the Wilson case so I came early._"

"Oh, are you finished with that report yet?"

"_Yeah I finished it just before I called...oh, by the way, don't forget to be here early for the briefing today._"

"So, we have one every morning before our shift."

"_I know, but this one's different. Remember what today is?_"

Cloud went silent for a moment. He checked the calendar hanging in his kitchen. It was the 1st of October...the 5 year anniversary of the 'Nibelheim Incident,' a terrorist attack that had destroyed a small mountain town, and Cloud's hometown. Now he remembered; the Commissioner always held something of a memorial for this day every year. It was on those days when Cloud's spirits were always brought down, and harsh memories were brought back.

"Oh...yeah, I remember. I'll be there."

"..._Okay Cloud, see ya later than_."

Cloud couldn't help but sigh as he hung up the phone. Cloud had a feeling that today may not be one of his best days. He quickly washed the mug, and walked over to the front door to grab his keys and pager. He put on his work boots, walked out of the door and locked it behind him. He quickly headed down the stairs to the apartment building's garage, where his motorcycle, Fenrir, sat parked and waiting for him. He walked up to the bike, stuck the key into the ignition, and pulled out of the garage as it roared to life. He headed down the street and onto the freeway towards the edge of District 7, Midgar, where the District 7 Midgar Police Station was located. Despite the unusual traffic that morning, Cloud was able to guide the bike smoothly through the congested freeway, sometimes glancing to his side to watch the skyscrapers that towered over him zip by. He soon caught sight of the largest skyscraper in the entire city, the Shinra Electric Power Company Headquarters, towering over 300 ft into the air. The Shinra Power Company was one of the biggest corporations of the world, and was the city of Midgar's largest economic power. It provided electricity for citizens from the eastern, to the western continents, and they had developed numerous ways to produce electric energy to meet such a large demand. They had developed solar, hydraulic, wind power, even a few nuclear power plants here and there, back during the company's beginnings. You could go just about anywhere and you would find a Shinra power plant somewhere around. But despite being the main source of the world's electrical power, that didn't mean they were liked by everyone.

Shinra was very well known for being a major influence in city and even world politics, at times becoming a bit too influential. It was no secret to the world that Rufus Shinra, the young CEO of the corporation, had many friends in government office and he was able to get politicians to pass all sorts of ridiculous laws and propositions, mostly through bribes, just so it would benefit the Shinra corporation. This caused a bit of an upset among many citizens of Midgar, not liking the fact that their government could be so easily corrupted. Cloud wasn't particularly a fan himself; he didn't think a city government should be so easily influenced by a corporation, which clearly didn't have the good of the people of Midgar in mind. But he never really expressed his opinion, since he never really liked to immerse himself in politics. In the end it didn't really matter so long as the government didn't make any stupid mistakes that could somehow jeopardize his livelihood. He noticed his exit coming up, and quickly but gracefully made his way to the offramp, exiting the freeway and back onto the city streets. He drove for another five minutes before pulling up to the District 7 Midgar Police Station on the right.

He turned into the parking lot of the station, parked in a spot at the far end, and shut off the bike. He then headed inside the building, and immediately went down to the basement level towards the locker rooms. He entered the locker room and walked down to the end of the first row of lockers, to the second to last one on the left. He opened his locker to grab his ID badge and gun holster for patrol. As he reached in he couldn't help but look up at the inside of the locker door, where two pictures were hung up by strips of tape. In one picture, a much younger Cloud was sitting beside his late mother, Dawn Strife, a lovely woman with the same blue eyes and golden blonde hair that he had, just longer, less unruly and tied in a ponytail. In the second picture, was again a much younger Cloud, who was shyly sitting beside a very cute (and well endowed) brunette. The brunette in question was Cloud's childhood neighbor and first crush, Tifa Lockhart. He had known Tifa since they were both kids, and although never the closest of friends, she was one of the only kids that he bothered to hang out with. She, as well as his mother both disappeared during the 'Nibelheim Incident,' and had both been presumed dead, since to this day they had not been located. Cloud quickly resumed what he was doing, and once he had the gun holster attached to his belt, and his ID badge in place, he shut the locker door, and quickly left the room. Despite the emotional wall that Cloud had managed to build up over the years, he could feel a number of emotions beginning to well up inside of him, and the last thing he wanted was to lose control of them.

As Cloud opened the door and headed out into the hall outside the locker rooms, Detectives Biggs and Wedge, two auto theft detectives, came walking down the stairs up ahead, arguing about something or other that Cloud didn't really think he cared much about. They looked up almost as soon as he saw them, and they both waved to him in greeting.

"Morning Cloud, looks like you beat us to work again as usual!" exclaimed Biggs. Biggs was a tall brunette with a mass of spiked, unruly hair, with a faint stubble growing around his chin. He was a pretty outspoken guy, one who wasn't afraid to speak his mind or to take action when he felt like he needed to, which sometimes got him into trouble. His partner Wedge, was a fairly large guy, both in height and girth, however he didn't have the confidence to match his size. He was much more timid when compared to Biggs, and he was always kind of following him around like his shadow. But despite his lack of self-esteem and the ability to assert his own authority, he was the smartest and more tactical of the pair, which helped them out quite a lot when they were working on cases.

Cloud just replied nonchalantly, "Morning. Have you two seen Jessie anywhere?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs at her desk. I think she was finishing up a report," Wedge answered.

"Thanks Wedge. See you guys later." Cloud then went past the two of them, more eager to start his job than to socialize.

As Cloud headed up the stairs, he couldn't help but overhear Wedge happily chirping to Biggs. "Wow! He actually knows my name! This is awesome!"

Of course he would know Wedge's name. Why wouldn't he? Aren't you supposed to know the names of other detectives that you worked with? Cloud didn't understand how just doing his job right and doing the best that he could on the force made him different or special in any way. Cloud couldn't see any reason why Wedge would think so highly of him just because he called him by his name. But he didn't need to worry about that, he had work to do.

He continued up to the second floor of the station, turning down the left hall towards the burglary detective unit, where auto theft detectives to home invasion detectives were stationed. As he walked in he made his way over to his desk, and sat down.

"You look like you need another few hours of sleep."

Cloud looked up to see who had spoken to him, and saw Jessie standing at the edge of his desk.

"What gives you that idea?"

"Well, for starters, you have a lovely set of bags under your eyes," replied Jessie. "Did you get any sleep last night Cloud?"

"You don't need to worry about that Jessie."

The conversation was interrupted when an explosive yell boomed through the office.

**"WHADDAYA MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THAT REPORT READY!"**

Cloud glanced over towards Lieutenant Barret Wallace's office, where through the office window he could see the gruff, dark skinned lieutenant screaming at a pair of young detectives who had just joined the unit.

"There he goes again, I wonder what's pissed him off this time," said Jessie, watching the scene with what looked like slight amusement on her face.

Cloud just turned back to his desk and opened his file cabinet, flipping trough the files to look over some their more recent cases. As he thumbed through them, he heard a door burst open, and glanced over to see the large lieutenant storming out of the office, with the two greenhorn detectives quickly sneaking away and out of his sight. Cloud was about to get back to his files when he heard Wallace's booming voice from across the room.

**"Strife! In my office!"**

"Uh oh, is Cloud in trouble?" asked Jessie, a playful little smirk on her face.

"Lay off, I'll just go see what he wants," Cloud replied, as he got up from his chair.

"Hey Cloud, can you give this to him while you're at it?"

Jessie held out a manilla file to Cloud, who took it out of her hand.

"Wilson case?"

"Yup."

"Okay, I'll meet you back here later."

With that, Cloud turned and headed for the lieutenant's office, all the while trying to find a number of good reasons as to why he had been called.

Cloud walked up to the door to find the Lieutenant Wallace standing at the door with it wide open, giving him a hard stare that only inclined him to head inside. He quickly walked inside and stood by the desk. He heard the door slam behind him and soon enough Lieutenant Wallace was standing behind his desk and pulling his chair out to sit down.

"Sit down Cloud."

Cloud did as he was told, setting the manila file he was holding in front of him on the desk.

"Wazzat?"

"Case file on the Wilson case Sir. Jessie asked me to hand it in to you."

Wallace huffed. "At least I've got one detective in this unit who bothers to do their job," Wallace muttered, as he gestured for Cloud to hand him the file, which he did by sliding it across the desk. "I'll look it over a little later. I have somethin' big I need to talk to you about."

Cloud only nodded in reply.

After a short pause, the lieutenant continued. "I brought you in here to let you know that this is gonna be your last day as a detective of this unit.

Cloud blinked, a bit speechless and not sure of what to think.

Was he being fired? Demoted maybe?

"...What...? Sir, am I being let go?"

Wallace let out a billowing laugh at that, seemingly amused by Cloud's utter confusion.

"Are you kiddin' me? Why would I fire one of my best detectives? It's your last day 'cause you're being promoted!"

"...Promoted? To what unit?"

"Homicide. They recently lost one of their detectives and they need someone to fill in the empty position. They think you're just the man for the job."

Cloud said nothing, instead just blinked back, still stunned by this sudden development.

Promoted? To Homicide? After only a year on the force?

"Um, are you sure they haven't made some kind of mistake? I've only been on this unit for a year now. I doubt that that's nearly enough experience needed for homicide."

"Hey, you should be grateful you're even being considered for the job Spikey!"

Spikey...?

"You're one of the best detectives I've go on this unit and I'm guessing that they looked over your work on the force and liked what they saw. Have your desk packed up by the end of your shift Cloud. You'll be movin' to your new desk by tomorrow, ya got that?"

Cloud responded with a respectful, "Yessir."

"Good. Now get your ass outta my office!"

Cloud quickly complied, as he turned and opened the door to let himself out. He was more than happy to leave the office; the less time he had to spend listening to that guy screaming, the better.

As he headed to his desk, the P.A suddenly went off, and a female voice quickly came over the line.

"_All personnel please report to the1st floor briefing hall. Repeat, all personnel please report to the 1st floor briefing room_."

Cloud heaved a heavy sigh, and turned towards the stairs as other detectives and officers around him did the same, walking at the slowest pace he could, despite the other detectives rushing ahead of him, seemingly to delay the inevitable. He wished to God that he didn't have to deal with this today, that he could just skip it and head right out on patrol. Why did this have to come back and haunt him today? Why couldn't it have been yesterday? Or tomorrow? Or maybe the day after? Why did it have to be this day? Why did it all have to come back? He headed down the stairs with these thoughts still drumming through his mind as he turned from the stairs and headed into the briefing room. The room itself was more like a small auditorium or college lecture hall, able to acommodate the 200 or so working officers working in this sector. Cloud walked in to find the hall almost half full, and decided not to bother to find a seat, and stayed at the back of the room, watching as the hall quickly began to fill up. Up ahead at the front of the hall, was a large projector screen that was used usually for young officers who had to sit through the numerous trainee videos that needed to be watched before your first day as a beat cop. But on this day, it was used for the city wide broadcast that the Commissioner made every year for the Midgar Police Force. Soon, the lights in the room were quickly dimmed, and the projection screen turned on, at first nothing but a blue screen. After another few minutes however, the image suddenly changed to an office setting, with Commissioner Reeve Tuesti sitting at his desk, facing the camera as it broadcasted his image live.

"_Hello, officers of Midgar, this is your Commissioner addressing you. As you all know, today is a day that is marred by the disaster that shook and destroyed many lives of the town of Nibelheim. This was a time when the first code of conduct of law enforcement, 'To protect and to serve,' had failed. Because of this failure, many lives were lost and shattered..let us take a moment of silence for those that had been lost_."

The room went completely quiet, the silence hanging in the air like a thick fog.

The silence was not comforting to Cloud, and he was starting to feel deep set emotions well up in his chest. He could feel himself shivering ever so slightly from the effort it took to hide his emotions and suppress the memories that were resurfacing yet again. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, the Commissioner spoke again. Cloud could take it no longer, and as soon as he got his chance, he snuck out of the hall and ran right back to his desk not willing to listen to any more of the worthless memorial...not when his well built emotional wall was ready crack, making the 5 years it took to cope with the loss be for nothing.

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><p><strong>AN:** Aright, well I hope that was a good chapter, and again I apologize for for updating so late. I will try my best to NOT take so long next time. (Although I don't think anyone should get their hopes up. :)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please comment/fav and tell me what you all thought. :)


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